Cara over at The Curvature posted an excellent article today about Jimmy Kimmel’s recent interview of rapper Lil’ Wayne. In the interview, Kimmel repeatedly mocks Lil’ Wayne’s experience, which according to the few details that Lil’ Wayne reluctantly supplies, clearly seems to be rape (around 2:40).
By claiming that Lil’ Wayne “lost his virginity” at age 11 and laughing at an experience which Lil’ Wayne clearly states affected him negatively, Kimmel and his audience imply that Lil’ Wayne somehow “wanted it.”
The incident plays into rape apologism and stereotypes of hyper-sexualized African-American masculinity. As Cara notes:
In the majority of sexual assault cases, where a woman is the victim of a man’s violence, rape apology is rooted primarily not in the denial that male violence exists, but in the denial that male violence means something and needs to be stopped. Conversely, in cases where a man is the victim of a woman’s violence, rape apologism is strongly rooted in the denial that women’s actions can count as violence at all — and especially that their actions can count as sexual violence against men, who are routinely construed as incapable of being victims.
The incident is downplayed and mocked, also possibly partly because the perpetrator in the assault was a 14-year-old girl. Cara says:
While 14 is significantly older than 11 (since age differences matter more the younger you are), I’m not sure that the majority of people would be comfortable outright calling it rape based on that age difference. If we were talking an 11-year-old girl and a 24-year-old man? Most people, though of course certainly not all, would probably call that rape. And I know for a fact that significantly fewer people would call it rape when we reverse those genders.
Rape and sexual assault are NEVER funny. Lil’ Wayne plays the issue off as a joke, but is clearly uncomfortable with the line of questioning. I cannot believe the amount of insensitivity displayed by the two men on stage as well as the audience members. But, as Cara notes, Kimmel has a whole culture to back him up. This is a larger issue than one host’s insensitive remarks. This is a societal issue of race, gender, age, and victim-blaming. And this culture of rape apologism is simply unacceptable.
Yesterday morning, in honor of Women’s History Month, Michelle Obama and 21 other inspirational women visited one of the poorest neighborhoods in DC to talk to high school students. Mrs. Obama gathered these 21 women, including: singers Sheryl Crow and Alicia Keys, former astronaut Mae C. Jemison, General Ann E. Dunwoody of the Army (the first female four-star general), the actor Alfre Woodard, WNBA star Lisa Leslie, Olympic medalist Dominique Dawes, and Bobbi Brown (creator of the Bobbi Brown makeup line). These women visited public and private schools across the region on Thursday, hoping to inspire students.
Michelle Obama talks to a small group of students at Anacostia High School in Washington
Mrs. Obama shared her story of struggle and success, growing up on the South Side of Chicago. Obama simply told the 21 women that their task in visiting the schools was to share their real-life stories and “make the kids understand where we stand is not an impossibility.” As Michelle Obama told the 21 selected women:
This was one of my dreams. . . I couldn’t have imagined this a year ago, but as we started moving towards this trajectory, that it became increasingly clear that Barack Obama might be the next president of the United States, and as I started thinking about the . . . kinds of things that I wanted to see happen, this day was one of those things — gathering an amazing group of women together, and going out, and talking to young girls around this country.
Later in the evening, Mrs. Obama hosted a dinner for 110 girls from nearby schools as well as the 21 inspirational women. At the dinner, she said:
The first African American woman to be the ambassador to the United Nations. And then there’s me, the first lady. As I look around the room into the faces of the young women who joined us today, I can’t help but wonder who among us will be the next first.
When Laura Ingraham insulted Meghan McCain last Thursday and said that McCain is “just another Valley Girl gone awry” and that she was basically too fat to have a legitimate opinion on politics, McCain did not take it lightly.
INGRAHAM (mocking, on her radio show): Ok, Meghan. Do you think that anyone would be talking to you if you weren’t kind of cute and you weren’t the daughter of John McCain? Or do you just think that they would just think that you were just another Valley Girl gone awry?
…MCCAIN (on MSNBC): And I think there’s an extreme on both parties and I hate extreme. I don’t understand. I have friends that are the most radically conservative and radically liberal people possibly ever and we all get along. We can find a middle ground.
INGRAHAM (mocking, on her radio show): Ok, I was really hoping that I was going to get that role in the Real World, but then I realized that, well, they don’t like plus-sized models. They only like the women who look a certain way. And on this 50th anniversary of Barbie, I really have something to say.
Ingraham’s mockery of McCain by bringing up her weight is so petty and diverts attention away from the issue at hand, from McCain’s political beliefs and statements. Calling a woman out on her weight is not an intelligent or thought-provoking response to McCain’s commentary on Ann Coulter. It does nothing productive to challenge or continue the content of the conversation. Instead it shuts down the conversation by bringing up something totally irrelevant. Why should the way someone looks have anything to do with the beliefs they are articulating? It shouldn’t have the power to discredit someone’s opinions.
The sad part is that disqualifying a woman or discriminating against a woman because she’s deemed fat is all too common. Women are reduced to their bodies and if they don’t do femininity right by failing to conform to the ridiculous and unrealistic standards of beauty, they are subject to ridicule by the media and the public. Women fat-shaming other women is low and exemplifies the internalization of oppressive beauty standards and patriarchal reductions of women to their bodies.
McCain rebutted on The View:
The transcript:
“I think with Laura Ingraham the worst part about it for me is that with my personal blog a significant majority of the readers are young women and I can’t say with the daily beast I’ve only been writing for them for a few months but I assume a lot of young women are reading it. And what do young women think when I speak my mind about politics and I want to have a political discussion about the ideological future of the republican party and the answer is she’s fat, she shouldn’t have an opinion. What kind of message are we sending young women? It’s terrible, I have a little sister and what kind of example is this setting for her? Weight is not the … I’m a political writer on a blog and all of a sudden I’m too fat to write ya know. Everyone from Tyra Banks, to Oprah, to Hilary Clinton to my mother, why are we so obsessed with weight why? I know specifically for me this is so…I’m a pop culture junkie . When Tyra Banks went on her show in her bathing suit and said kiss my fat ass, that’s what I feel like right now. I’m like kiss my fat ass. There’s no place for weight criticism of women in 2009. There’s no place for it and if I have to come on this show and say that there is no place for any woman to have her weight criticized not matter what age she is.”
How many times have you heard women in your life criticize themselves or others about their weight? How many times have you heard women in your life complain that they are too fat and need to lose weight? Especially before spring break, to get in that bikini body, in shape enough for the beach.
It distresses me that so many of my female friends constantly complain about their weight. I hate when I’m eating with friends and someone says “I’m so bad, I shouldn’t eat this”, “Ugh I’m such a fat-ass”, “This isn’t helping my diet at all” or similar comments where they reprimand themselves or express disgust with themselves for eating what they’re eating.
Yes, we all eat unhealthy foods sometimes. Yes, we all have experienced times of inactivity where we know we should be exercising more but aren’t. Yes, we all may feel insecure about our bodies and the way we look. (When you live in a culture that bombards you with messages about how you’re not good enough, you internalize these toxic beliefs after a while since it’s everywhere you go.)
However, constantly berating yourself for your weight, your body appearance, or your diet, doesn’t do you any good in the long run. Yelling at yourself? Hating yourself? How does that help you? It just makes you feel worse about yourself. It also reflects the internalization of patriarchal beliefs that reiterate and reemphasize the hypervaluation of having a slender body because women are just bodies, you know.
We are always taught to care about what our body looks like, not what our body does for us everyday, not our accomplishments and aspirations, not our personalities, not our hearts, etc. McCain is absolutely right, what message are we sending to young women when we don’t enable women to express their beliefs and opinions about politics, or other important issues, simply because of the way they look? What message are we sending to young women when we judge women on the way they look and not the value of their ideas?
This is apparently the slogan for a hipster clothing store in Austin, Texas.
My initial reaction upon seeing this: What?!!! I don’t get it!!!!
How are men the new women? Is this supposed to allude to how men can be into fashion and shopping without being gay or being super feminine for doing so? If so, it is a very metronormative and bourgeoisie claim that just reinforces consumerism in spite of economic crisis. Kind of like how post-September 11th Bush told Americans to go shopping because you know, that will help us in the “war against terrorism.”
Also, saying that men are the new women would mean that men have replaced women as an oppressed and marginalized group. Patriarchy oppresses men too, not just women, but it is not historically or presently accurate to say that men are now the primary oppressed and marginalized group. Surprise, we still live in a patriarchal society where white, heterosexual, upper-middle and upper class men are the most privileged, so no, men can not possibly the new women.
The Huffington Post has an article out, “Military rape reports rise, prosecution still low” which sheds light on newly released figures relating to sexual assault/rape in the military, which is neither a shocking or a new phenomenon: (Bold emphasis mine)
The Pentagon said it received 2,923 reports of sexual assault across the military in the 12 months ending Sept. 30 2008. That’s about a 9 percent increase over the totals reported the year before, but only a fraction of the crimes presumably being committed.
Among the cases reported, only a small number went to military courts, officials acknowledged.
The Pentagon office that collects the data estimates that only 10 percent to 20 percent of sexual assaults among members of the active duty military are reported a figure similar to estimates of reported cases in the civilian sphere.
…The yearly increase in reports is more likely due to larger numbers of victims being willing to come forward than to an overall increase in sexual violence, Whitley said.
That increase includes a jump in cases from combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan, to 165 from 131 the year before.
Congresswoman Jane Harman, a congressional critic of the military’s handling of sexual violence, said the statistics show the problem is still rampant.
“While the report shows modest improvement, we’re far from Mission Accomplished,” the California Democrat said in a statement. “Military women are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire in Iraq.”
According to the Pentagon, numbers have increased because more survivors are coming forward. However, even for military survivors who come forward, just as civilian survivors who come forward, there is little chance that the perpetrators will be justly prosecuted. That’s reason enough for not coming forward for many survivors, because if you’re not likely to be believed and supported, why put yourself through more trauma?
I also wonder, what institutional structures in the military exist to support and protect survivors who come forward? (I doubt there are many. Most “justice” processes for survivors are slanted in favor of the perpetrators.) Why does the Pentagon think that there is simply more reporting now? Was there something specific implemented recently to encourage the alleged increase in reporting?
Regardless of whether or not there is increased reporting of sexual assault/rape in the military, there are still many incidents that are unreported. Statistics of sexual assault/rape generally tend to be higher than the ones reported and publicized due to the general silence, shame and stigma around sexual violence.
Furthermore increased statistics of sexual assault/rape are never good because they just illustrate the prevalence of sexual violence. One rape is too many and should not be tolerated. And the fact that women are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than to die in combat is not specific to Iraq. It’s been true for quite some time now, and this needs to change.
Another thing that needs to be examined is how the military is an institution that supports and enables violent masculinity to thrive. The military is the bastion of patriarchy. It is a deeply hierarchical structure that celebrates and demands hyper-masculinity. Inherent in the construction and the embodiment of violent masculinity is the condoning of violence against women.
A friend of mine drew my attention to an AIG corporate security memo leaked to Gawker that lists tips for employees on “how not to fall victim to the populist horde calling for their heads.”
Some of the things they suggest sound much like victim-blaming sexist “advice” that women are told to follow in order to prevent themselves from being raped:
- “Be aware of individuals who appear out of place or spending an inordinate amount of time near an AIG facility and report these sightings immediately to building security.” (Sounds akin to: women, beware of men who seem sketchy and are just loitering on corners or on the street because they may be rapists.)
- “At night,when possible, travel in pairs and always park in well lit areas.” (Women, don’t walk alone otherwise you may get raped. And don’t walk in dark alleyways, you may get raped there too.)
- “Question individuals that you do not recognize and appear to be out of place; if you do not feel comfortable doing so, notify building security or your local authorities in order to do so.” (Women, again, beware of sketchy men.)
- “Avoid propping doors and be aware of those attempting to ‘Piggy Back’ into AIG workspace.” (Women, always remain on constant alert and make sure you don’t accidentally let in a rapist.)
Imagine the fear that AIG employees must’ve felt when they received this memo. Constant vigilance.
