Newsflash: You’re part of the problem

24 02 2009

While browsing a social website, I came across a post that became quite popular, and now I can see why. A twenty-seven year old woman from California posts a journal entry titled “Newsflash: Guys are Great” After reading the title, I braced myself for the post.

I’ve been skimming journals for the past few days and it seems there is too much guy bashing for my liking. I heart guys. They’re great to cuddle up next to, carry heavy stuff, getting advice and just generally fun to be around.

Girls make guys crazy. I don’t like feminism; I like a guy to be a gentleman but more so to just be themselves. If you’re a girl who meets stupid guys who treat you bad:

FUN FACT: You brought it on yourself.

People can only treat you as good or bad as you let them. If someone sucks at being nice, you can totally choose to not be around them anymore. If you choose to stick around.. you get what you pay for.

I’ve met some scumbags in my time, and the key is to move on and know that there are nice guys out there..

So.. where are these guys hiding out these days?

This post basically sums up my biggest pet peeves of anti-feminism. It upset me even more that a woman posted this, but it comes to show that one’s gender is not always a guaranteed indicator if one is a feminist or not. Where do I begin?

Girls make guys crazy.” Yes. All women collectively have worked to make men the way they are now. It is not one’s fault if they’re “crazy” (whatever she means by this), but it is the woman’s fault! How dare women push these guys who would be otherwise perfect if it were not for their existence!

I don’t like feminism; I like a guy to be a gentleman but more so to just be themselves.” I’m not sure why she put these two clauses together in the same sentence. It seems like she’s saying that feminism is encouraging men to not be themselves? Damned feminists! Wanting their equal rights! They’re just trying to change men from their perfect selves! Who cares if the guy is abusive or a rapist? We shouldn’t have to change him! Feminism isn’t about changing men. It’s about changing society…so that men and women are EQUAL and have the SAME opportunities, i.e. same pay, same access to certain professions, etc.

If you’re a girl who meets stupid guys who treat you bad:

FUN FACT: You brought it on yourself…If you choose to stick around.. you get what you pay for.” Did you guys have as much fun as I did reading that fact? This is the kind of victim blaming that keeps people in abusive relationships and then causes them to not get help. NO ONE deserves to be hurt. One does not have control over another’s actions and it is not their fault that they love someone and believe that they will change. It is not their fault of the abuser has made it nearly impossible to leave someone. It is VERY difficult to get out of an abusive relationship– abusers do not start out being abusive. If they did, they most likely would not have any victims to hurt. Partners are lured in by this so-called “amazing person” and then the abuse comes unexpectedly. Oftentimes the abuser says exactly what this poster has said “you deserve this.” The victim lives in fear thinking that they caused this abuse to happen and if only they didnt bring it onto themselves the situation will change.

I’ve met some scumbags in my time, and the key is to move on and know that there are nice guys out there” Yes, it is just so easy to “move on” after being in an abusive relationship. It is difficult enough to start to heal after such an ordeal and even more difficult if they do not seek outside help. What does “move on” even mean anyway? Many say it takes a lifetime to heal from an abusive relationship. Does that mean they have moved on? I think women have a right to share about their bad experiences with men; it’s a way to show that their behavior is not right and should not be encouraged. Taking time off from men CAN be a good thing. Her dismissive attitude about women’s suffering and victim blaming is deplorable. Just because she personally has been able to “move on” from these “scumbags,” it doesnt give her the right to say that everyone out there deserves to be treated badly if they have.

The comments just pissed me off too much. Some gems say that feminism has shifted to Valerie Solanas’s feminism: man-bashing with the goal of manocide (read: male genocide). Other say that feminism is IRRELEVANT…sure you women got your voting rights…what else is there to be done? Feminists just want to be a part of something, so they joined this so-called movement.

This served as an eye-opener. I surround myself with educated, like-minded women, so reading that there are people still out there jolts me back to reality.  This is a reminder that we still have sooo much to still be done in this society.

There is not enough D: in the world.


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2 responses

25 02 2009
x DORi

The way that girl wrote just sounded like she hasn’t watched the news or read a book in her life. She makes it seem like she doesn’t know what feminism is or the point of feminism.
Personally, I think she wrote the post to attract attention from men so she can be seen as “the perfect girlfriend,so like..hey. like, call me sometime.”

-___-

pisses me off. but hey, that’s how she feels , that’s how she feels.
I don’t even think when she wrote it she understood the impact or what her words meant to other women in the world. I think she may have wrote it as I said to get male attention you can see it in her “I like gentle men but more so if the guy will just be themselves.”

aka “hey, pick me because I won’t try to change you. even if you aren’t a gentleman I’ll stick with you.”

she is the perfect example of why some see women as the weaker sex. weak in mind, weak in self.

28 02 2009
angryblkfeminist

I think that post is definitely a lesson in being mindful of what you say at all times. Why did she have to feel like she had to put other women down and put them to blame to look good? I really hope it didn’t help her in getting more dates. No man should be attracted to that. I was happy to see that men did comment calling her out on what she said, even if most (all?) were a bit misinformed about feminism.

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